Eggs

While loading four bags of groceries into the trunk this morning, I made a mental note to drive carefully as not to disturb the eggs I had placed on the very top of one of the bags. Two blocks from home, I used the breaks too firmly at a stop sign and Olivia and I heard a few thumps from the trunk. "Uh-oh," I told her. "I think the bag with the eggs just tipped over. We might have broken eggs all over the trunk!" She was as anxious to assess the situation as I was when we got home. When I opened the trunk, I was surprised and relieved to see that although the egg bag had tipped and the carton was turned upside-down, only one egg was broken, and it was just a small crack - no oozing. I showed Olivia and explained again what could have happened. "Thank you, Jesus," I said "for allowing only one egg to break and not make a mess!"
Olivia's response was, "Should you ask him to fix the broken egg?"

Rock-a-bye

Since Olivia isn't a reader (give me a few more months), all her memorization comes from listening. Her learning is basically an on-going game of telephone - she, always hoping to have heard correctly, and me, chuckling when I find instances of her hearing something wrong and missing some of the meaning. I was reminded of this a few days ago.
She was in the shower, and she had cleared out her bath toy holder to create a cradle, of sorts, for her lovable, green monster. She told me "Monster is a baby" and then put him in the little pouch and began to swing him back and forth while singing, "Rock-a-bye baby."
Rock-a-bye baby in the treetop
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle an' doll.
Realizing at the end that she wasn't rocking a baby doll, but rather, her monster, she quickly revised the end of the line with
...cradle an' monster.

Olivia and I were reading her ABC "flap" book this morning. For each letter of the alphabet, there are several pictures of objects beginning with that letter along with a sentence giving a clue about another picture under the flap. I was reading the first part of the sentence to her, she'd then open the flap and use the picture clue to complete the sentence. For example: (picture of a saw on the "S" page) "A saw is a tool, so is a ____" and she'd open the flap and say "screwdriver!"
We went through the book and she "read" with 100% accuracy, relying on the picture clues the whole way.
We came to the "Q" page. I read, "Queen starts with Q, so does _______"
Olivia opened the flap and saw something like this ---------->
"Qu, qu, quistmas tree!"
Correct answer = quilt, though I gave her points for qu, qu, queativity!
*Were there no other less-confusing quilt patterns to choose from?!

I'm in the midst of fall parent-teacher conferences at work. Yesterday was my "off" day during the day, but I still needed to be at conferences for the afternoon and evening. This meant I had to nap Olivia early, so I could get her up and to my mom's house, so I could be back at school by 2:30 to begin conferences  by 3:00. Olivia didn't fall asleep within the five minute window I gave her so it threw of our schedule a bit. She wasn't ready to wake up at 2:10, so I (cringe) had to wake her from her nap. I tiptoed in and softly said, "It's time to wake up and go to Grandma's."
"Okay," she replied in a matter-of-factly. She was much more with-it and much less grumpy than I was expecting (or myself would have been), but I was still feeling a little bad for having woken her.
As I carried her down the stairs, I apologized, "Sorry I had to wake you from your nap."
She gently patted my back and said sweetly, "I forgive you."

Hilarious

Olivia was playing with a puzzle yesterday, but had her back to me. She did something (I couldn't see what) with a puzzle piece that must have been incredibly amusing because all of a sudden she gave a very hearty and very fake, dramatic laugh. "That is so hilarious!" she gushed. I laughed (for real) and said, "YOU are hilarious!" Olivia countered with, "No, YOU'RE hilarious! You're COVERED in hilarious!"
Good one.

We went to a baby shower today.
At first explanation, I told Olivia it was a baby party, which sounded misleading, so I changed the description to "a party for ladies who are going to have babies." More accurate, but still confusing, so I finally told her we're going to a baby shower. Women who have babies get to have a party where people shower them with gifts. No one will be taking a shower, only being showered by gifts. I think she sort of got it.
When she got up from her nap, I reminded her we were going to a baby shower. She elaborated, "There won't be one" (a wet, watery shower, that is.) That's correct.
I put her in a dress and did her hair and we were about to leave when I realized I hadn't diapered her yet - taken off the wet diaper - yes, but not yet put on a clean one. I laughed and dramatically told her what I had realized:
"Pie! Mommy forgot to put a diaper on you! What if we had gone to the shower and you went potty on somebody's carpet! That would be so embarrassing!"
Her very serious reply cracked me up. "I would not do that."
I told her that was good to know. She must have liked the drama in "what could have been" because she rolled the phrase over on her tongue several times for the next few minutes, "So embarrassing! So embarrassing!"

Note: This post will be exponentially funnier if read aloud.

Like with books, Olivia tends to find a favorite CD and want to only listen to that one for a while. Right now, it's the United States of America states and capitals CD that she requests every time we get into the car. ("America music!") The songs are seriously in my head all day long. I wake up in the middle of the night with "Jefferson City, Missouri. Helena, Montana" etc. coursing through my brain. I already know my states and capitals. Now I just have a musical version of them clogging up my brain. Anyway...
The other day, Olivia was playing at her little kitchen and pulling out various food items. She held up the bright blue fake salt shaker and said, "pepper!" Evan said, "Not pepper, it's the other one."
"Salt!" she corrected, which in her 2-year-old voice comes out sounding like, "sauwt." We both congratulated her on this important piece of information.
Then, to herself, "Sauwt, sauwt...Sauwt Dakota!"

When Olivia got up this morning, I gave her the run-down of the day, per usual. She had some funny things to say.
Me: We're going on a walk with Zach and Amy this morning.
Olivia: Again?
(Our last walk with them was two weeks ago.)
Me: Yes, again! But they're coming to our house this time.
O: Am I coming, too?
Me: Yep, I'll push you in your stroller.
O: Don't talk to Amy this time.
(Last time I gave her a heads-up that I'd be talking to Amy the whole walk so she needed to take a toy that would occupy her.)